Sexuality in the Iranian American Community

Sexuality is an important aspect of human life and close examination will inevitably create a range of thoughts and feelings around it. This paper is an attempt to examine existing psychological and emotional sexual barriers among Iranian American women and to offer cross-culturally sensitive strategies when working with this population. It is my hope that someday as an educator and a clinician I will be able to bring greater awareness to both the Iranian American as well as the American community at large about the existing problems in the area of sex and sexuality.

Based on the cross-cultural studies that have been conducted in the most recent years on sexuality, it has become quite apparent that how sex and sexuality is portrayed and practiced differs widely from culture to culture (Krippner & Clement, 2005). For example, during the Clinton/ Lewinsky case “worldwide reaction ranged from a Papal condemnation to the European media wondering what the fuss was all about” (p. 55).

In most Asian cultures like the Iranian culture, expressions of sexuality outside of marriage are considered highly inappropriate (Okazaki, 2002). Most Asian cultures are highly collectivistic and patriarchical; thus, sexuality that is allowed open expression (particularly among women) would represent a threat to the highly interdependent social order as well as to the integrity of the family. Many Asian cultural traditions place emphasis on propriety and the observance of strict moral and social conduct, thus modesty and restrained sexuality are valued (Abraham, 1999). While the Iranian culture is filled with wonderful and picturesque stories, poetry, mythology and epics of lovers and beloveds seeking out one another, there are also strong codes of ethics and conduct when it comes to the day to day practice of sexuality. For example, only heterosexual sex within the confines of marriage is acceptable where as homosexual interactions are prohibited and are punishable by imprisonment or death (Krippner & Clement, 2005). Another example of strict codes of conduct is applied to women who are coming of age. These women are to date only for the sole purpose of finding the right partner for marriage. While they are dating, the concept of having sexual relations outside of marriage simply does not exist. Shapurian and Hojat (1985) explain that Iran compared with the Western countries, may be described as a “sexually restrictive culture in which marriage is still almost exclusively the major route to sexual access” (p. 68).

Problems arise when immigrants bring over their values from the old country and try to live in the West. In the Iranian American community, older values are now beginning to clash with the values of younger Iranian American women who were either born or raised in the United States. Hanassab and Tidwell (1989) explain that some of these gender roles and expectations are changing as Iranian women become more acculturated to living in the West. However, there is a great deal of conflict that arises because these women are caught between two cultures; they live in the traditional culture of their parents at home and at the same time are constantly exposed to a very different social environment of the host culture.

In attempting to better understand why Iranian American women continue to have conflicting values, gender implications need to examined. Walker (1997) explained that it is important to look at the gender-role socialization in the culture by which many girls internalize stereotyped beliefs about male and female gender roles. In a study by Sharepour (2005) Iranian adolescents’ perceptions of appropriate jobs for each gender was examined to see if they assign certain jobs with each gender. The results indicated that that there are one-sided and exaggerated images of men and women among Iranian adolescents and that gender role stereotypes prevail among them, especially among boys.

Iranian women born or raised in the U. S. continue to be taught much of these older vales and gender roles in the home. Once they internalize these values, conflict develops when they are confronted with Western values outside the home.
Because Iranian women have not traditionally held much social or political power, their marital status is the only way they have typically found security. Traditionally, if a woman is single and is not a virgin or she is divorced from her husband or has been unfaithful to him, she is immediately relegated to a lower class and is shamed and looked down upon by others. Once she loses her position in the strata of society, she becomes a target for sexual use and abuse.

The fear of being slandered or even ostracized from the community is so strong within Iranian women that they often take great pains to hide their private life from their families and public scrutiny. For example, a young, single woman who chooses to date without looking for marriage might choose to see her date in locations that are as far away from her neighborhood as possible. She does this for the fear of being exposed in public with her date, which may bring on the risk of bringing shame to herself and her family. The consequences of being seen in public with her dates for an unwed woman may be grave. She may be permanently labeled as “loose” or “trashy.” She may even jeopardize her own future prospects for marriage. This pattern of behavior is taught from generation to generation with the young women being taught to fear, as well as carry guilt and shame around their sexuality.

Because sexuality is a natural part of life, no matter how intensely people may try and inhibit it, it often comes out regardless. If this innate desire does not show itself with in the confines of healthy sexuality, it will emerge in negative or neurotic behaviors in other areas of life. A common unhealthy behavior practiced among Iranian American women is the tendency to be involved in sexual relations prior to marriage. With the prospect of an upcoming marriage the young women pay a visit to the gynecologist and have their hymen sewn in order to become a virgin again. The psychological and emotional ramifications of this behavior can cause great pain to the women, their future husband and their families. Since the premise on women’s sexuality is to be asexual until marriage, if the woman has been active before marriage and lies about it, a deep sense of guilt and shame prevails within her psyche. Not only has she gone against the grain of her culture but she is also starting her marriage with a lie. As a result, the foundation of the marriage is weakened and the marital bond is built on shaky ground.

On the other hand, if the woman takes on the preferred or “correct” mannerism in regards to her sexuality and stays a virgin until she is married; other psychological and emotional barriers may be created. These barriers may include a lack of interest in sex, frigidity, over inhibition, sexual passivity or the opposite; being overly flirtatious or sexually promiscuous.

Because Iranian men have historically not been subjected to the same treatment as women, they have different issues from the women and are often unaware of the existing problems that the women are faced with. At the same time much is not known about sexuality in Iranian men because up to this point in time no studies have been conducted on this population.

Finally, it is important for clinicians who see Iranians in their practice to be mindful of cross-cultural differences. According to Hanassab (1990), when female Iranian clients are interviewed and diagnosed, mental health workers must be aware of the traditional family hierarchy, gender roles, power structure, and roles of different members of the family, in addition to the acculturation rate of the individuals, so that they do not unknowingly label or take sides according to the general norms of the mainstream American culture. Mental health practitioners should understand and identify conflicts that exist because of the salient, inevitable, and inescapable consequences of immigration and exile. Furthermore, counselors should attempt to help the immigrant clients come up with their own comfortable degrees of acculturation, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality.

In conclusion, sexuality in the Iranian American community is a concern. Due to patriarchal values and established gender roles, sexuality has not had a healthier or a more acceptable means of expression. Women are in conflict and at times end up engaging in adverse behaviors. These behaviors are causing various psychological and emotional problems in both Iranian women and their families. It is important to conduct more studies on this population in order to find out some of the root problems that are causing distress. It is also important to begin to educate this community as well as the greater American community about some of these existing problems faced within this community around sex and sexuality.

References
Abraham, M. (1999). Sexual abuse in South Asian immigrant marriages. Violence Against Women, 5, 591—618.
Hanassab, S. (1990). Acculturation and young Iranian women: Attitudes toward sex roles and intimate relationships. Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development. 19(1): 1-6.
Hanassab, S., & Tidwell, R. (1989). Cross-cultural perspective on dating relationships of young Iranian women: A pilot study. Counseling Psychology Quarterly. 2, 113-121.
Krippner, S., & Clement, S. (2004). Ethical and Legal Issues of Sexuality, pt.5: Human Sexuality (Learning Guide, Course No. 2060). San Francisco: Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center.
Okazaki, S. (2002). Influences of culture on Asian Americans’ sexuality. Journal of Sex Research. Retrieved on August 14, 2006 from: http://www.highbeam.com/library/docfree.asp?DOCID=1G1:87080438&ctrlInfo=Round18%3AMode18c%3ADocG%3AResult&ao=
Shapurian, R., & Hojat, M. (1985). Sexual and premarital attitudes of Iranian college students. Psychological Reports. 57, 67-74.
Sharepour, M. (2005). Gender role stereotypes among Iranian adolescents. The Journal of Social Psychology. 145(4), 491-494.
Walker, S. (1997). When “no” becomes “yes”: Why girls and women consent to unwanted sex. Journal of Applied and Preventive Psychology. 6: 157-166.